Married to the Job

In Married to the Job, psychologist Ilene Philipson describes people whose excessively strong attachment to their workplace is akin to marriage in intensity. Those people, many of them her patients and a majority of whom are women, aren’t obsessed with their work accomplishments or the material benefits of their careers. Instead, their relationships with their coworkers and recognition by their supervisors can become more important emotionally than their families are. Philipson points out that many American have issues about emotional attachment to their jobs, even if it doesn’t go as far as “marriage”.

Several societal factors are pushing people in that direction. As described in Robert Putnam’s book Bowling Alone, Americans are less socially involved in their leisure time. At home, more time is spent in solitary, less engaging activities like watching TV and surfing the net (when they aren’t taking work home with them). Work hours are increasing. And many companies, especially those in Silicon Valley, have cultures that push their employees to be more emotionally involved.

The book itself is a light read, full of personal anecdotes. I could relate to sense of my job being more meaningful than other aspects of my life, except for my real marriage. Though there aren’t any profound insights, Philipson mentions how psychology has traditionally downplayed the importance of one work environment, compared to family and childhood experiences, and the book is an attempt to counter that. Though the book drags at the end, when she describes the value of therapy and provides some self-help style suggestions, overall it’s worth reading.